Struck Down, But Not Destroyed
by mulderbabe77
Summary: Chapter 4! Abby comes to visit Robert after his surgery. Also poor Robert's not feeling well after the surgery, Elizabeth helps him out. Some RobertElizabeth bonding to come soon! Give me a shout, tell me what you think!
1. Default Chapter

Struck Down, But Not Destroyed  
  
Okay, here's my attempt at a new Romano story. I will eventually finish Baby of Mine, I know I've kind of abandoned it, but I'm lacking any creative ideas on how to finish it off. So in the meantime, I though I'd write this. I've been re-watching season 9 on TNT, and have recently seen Foreign Affairs and When Night Meets Day again.   
  
Just thought I'd include a Bible verse to go along with the title, since that's where I got it from...  
  
2 Corinthians 4:8  
  
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  
  
Disclaimer: I know, I know. I don't own ER, or any of the characters. I think we all know that. If I did, would Romano be dead? I don't think so.  
  
Reviews are always appreciated. Hope you like it................  
  
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Robert lay flat on his back staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom. It was nearly two in the morning. As much as he had tried, sleep would not come to him, so instead he just lay there, alone with his thoughts. There was no point in sleeping now, since he needed to get up in about two hours. He was due at the hospital at quarter after five.   
  
Now normally, even though that hospital was filled to the brim with imbeciles and idiot doctors who had no idea how to practice medicine, normally he didn't mind going into the hospital. Though his current job as ER chief wasn't nearly as exciting and stimulating as his previous job as OR chief, and Chief of Staff, he had slowly and stubbornly grown accustomed to the familiarity it offered. It wasn't surgery, but the job did have some perks, and he did still get to see Elizabeth, since she was on trauma call nearly every day.  
  
But today was very different from other days. Today he wasn't going in to work. Today he wouldn't get to harass and insult the nurses, make unreal demands on all the med students, or even yell at Pratt, because today he would be going through the doors of Cook County General as a patient, not as the notorious Dr. Romano whom everyone feared and tried to avoid.  
  
He rolled over onto his side, putting his charred arm out in front of him. Of course it was bandaged up, but he knew exactly what it looked like under all those bandages. A small sigh escaped his lips as he closed his eyes, trying once more to get the rest that his body much needed.   
  
A few short minutes later he finally drifted off to sleep, his exhaustion winning out over his anxiety regarding the surgery.   
  
But his restful sleep didn't last for long. At around 3:30 Robert sat bolt upright in bed, soaked in his own sweat and trembling. Immediately his good arm reached out for the bad one, hoping that what had taken place in his dream was just that, a dream. But he had experienced that very same dream many times before, so he knew better to even really hope this time, and when his hand felt the smooth cloth of the bandage that covered his severely burnt arm, his very last ounce of hope was ripped away from him in one quick second. His hand felt up and down the charred flesh that hung off his shoulder, and as he thought about what tomorrow would be like when he woke up from the surgery without his arm, a few tears fell from his eyes, landing on his cheeks. He quickly brushed them away and climbed out of bed to go take a long shower. There was no way he would go back to sleep now. 


	2. Melody of You

      Here's chapter 2....Sorry about the first chapter being so short, I'll try not to let it happen again. Well I'm not sure how long I'm planning on making this story, it'll probably keep going until I run out of ideas or time, and with finals coming up next week updates might take a while, but I'll try to get them out as soon as I can.

      Reviews are always appreciated. I would love to know what you think, especially if it's constructive. I'm always eager to improve my writing, so if you have any ideas, give me a shout.....Hope you enjoy!!!!

      Robert sat in his parked car in the garage of the hospital.  He was on time, in fact, he'd even gotten there a few minutes early, just so he would have these few moments alone in his car to gather his thoughts. 

      He glanced down at the digital clock on the dash of his car.  It was exactly quarter after five.  Even though the procedure wasn't scheduled to take place until 8:30 that morning, it was required that all patients arrive early to finish filling out any additional paperwork, to have any final questions answered by the doctor, not that he had any, and to get ready for the operation.

      As Robert made his way into the hospital, he strode quickly through the ER, and was able to go unnoticed by any of the staff.  Everyone seemed to be busy with patients, for which he was incredibly grateful.  He wasn't up for any small talk with Carter or Lewis, and he certainly wasn't up for an argument with Pratt.

      He stepped into the elevator, a feeling of dread gnawing deep down in the pit of his stomach.  Before he knew it, the doors of the elevator were opening and the familiar halls of the OR stretched endlessly in front of him. 

      Slowly, he made his way down the hall toward the front desk and was at least partially relieved to see Shirley's sympathetic smile as she spotted him approaching.

      "Don't they ever let you go home?" he asked, trying to lighten up what could be a very gloomy conversation.

      "Don't I wish," she said, coming around from behind the desk.  "Ok, you still have a few forms to fill out," she told him as she handed him a clipboard and a pen.  "Here let me take your bag. We've already got your private room reserved and all set up for you.  I'll go ahead and put your stuff in there, and you can go in the lounge and finish filling out that paperwork if you want."

      Robert nodded and shuffled off toward the lounge, while Shirley turned and went around the corner off toward Robert's room.

      Paperwork is so annoying, Robert thought to himself as he pulled out his wallet from his back pocket to retrieve his insurance card.  All those stupid forms and all the useless information they ask for over and over again. 

      "I just answered that question back on page 1," he said aloud to himself.  "This is ridiculous," he groaned.

      Finally after filling out all of the paperwork and having a quick talk with the operating surgeon, he lay in his hospital bed already dressed in his gown and waiting to be taken to pre-op.  The clock on the wall read 8:00.  Thirty minutes until the surgery was to take place.

      A quiet knock on the door made him look away from the clock.

      "Come in," he called out, expecting it to be Shirley coming to wheel him off to the operating room.

      "Hi Robert."

      "Lizzie," he said evenly, trying to keep his delight at her visit at bay.

      She took a few more steps into the room, moving closer towards him.  "I wanted to see you before..." she said, trailing off a little.  She turned her head and let out a little cough, cleared her throat and turned back to him.  "How are you?" she asked.

      "I'm all right, but I think I should be asking you that. Are you sick?"

      She nodded. "It's just a cold.  Unless you're worried about me contaminating you. I can leave if you want," she said, being totally serious.

      "No, no, I was just thinking that you should be at home if you're sick. I'm not worried about me," he said, smiling.

      "I've got too much work to do.  There's no time to be sick.  I never knew how much work was involved in being the OR chief."

      "Well now you know what I had to put up with all those years."

      They both laughed briefly, and then stopped and looked at each other.

      "Are you ready to do this?" she asked.

      "As ready as I'll ever be," he said, giving her a sad smile.  "You know, you can come in if you want. If you're bored, or curious..."

      "I'm covering the ER, but I should be able to get away for awhile."

      Elizabeth turned, hearing a knock at the door. 

      "Ready to go, Dr. Romano?" Shirley asked, stepping inside the room.

      He nodded, as Shirley made her way over to the bed and began to push it forward.

      Elizabeth stepped out of the way, off to the side.  Robert glanced at her. "Take care of yourself, don't' work too hard," he ordered.

      "You too, " she replied as he was wheeled out the door and down the hall.

      He was wheeled into one of the operating rooms, and one of the OR attendants began to draw markings on his arm, where they would make the first cut, and so on.  Before he knew it, the anesthesiologist had arrived, and it was time for him to go under.

      The doctor asked him a few questions about whether he had ever had a bad reaction to anesthesia, and to all the questions he answered no. 

      The bag was placed over his head, and he was asked to count backwards from ten. 

      He only made it to eight before he was out.............


	3. As I Lay Me Down to Sleep

      Ok here comes chapter 3, which you all have been waiting in suspense for, right? No?  You mean you haven't been waiting in suspense? Ok, well, here it is anyway.  

      Thank you all for your reviews!! I really appreciate them!

      So here it is...hope you like it...Read on and don't forget to review!

      P.S. I know nothing about medicine, so if my whole trauma scene with the penetrating chest trauma makes no sense, then don't be too angry. I was just trying to make it sound cool!

      The surgeons moved quickly and concisely as they worked on detaching the arm of their former boss.  Elizabeth had arrived to scrub in just a few minutes after Robert was put under.  She had hoped to get there earlier but a trauma down in the ER had held her up for longer than she expected, and by the time she had arrived he was already out.  

      Since she wasn't the operating surgeon, there wasn't much for her to do.  In fact, really there was nothing for her to do, she just sat and observed.  The room was irritatingly quiet which unnerved Elizabeth.  Every once in a while, one of her coughs that she desperately tried to hold in escaped, and everyone in the room would turn to look at her in an odd way, like she was somehow disturbing them.

      Maybe I shouldn't be here, she thought.  But as soon as she remembered her conversation with Robert earlier that morning, she knew she had to stay, for him.  

      "You know you can come in if you want, if you're bored, or curious." 

      That was his way of letting her know he needed her there.  And so, for that simple reason alone, she would stay.  It wouldn't be much longer anyway.

      Robert's eyes blinked open and squinted against the harsh light that was flooding in through the open curtains.  Slowly his eyes adjusted to the light and he glanced around, taking in his surroundings.

      The room was slightly nicer than he expected, being at County and all.   At least he had a private room, not having to share such a small space with some of the moronic miscreants that he'd dealt with in the past at this hospital.

      Through all his looking around the room, there was one place his curious glances avoided- his arm.  He just wasn't ready to look at it yet, to actually see it, and so, he didn't.  

      Still a little groggy from the anesthesia, a few minutes later he drifted off to sleep again.

      Beep. Beep. Beep.  

      Elizabeth's pager sounded again for about the 20th time that day.

      "What now?" she complained aloud to her empty office.

      Pulling the annoying device off of where it was clipped to her waist, she read the screen.  "Emergency".  Great, she thought, jumping out of her seat and flying out the door.

      Downstairs, Elizabeth pushed through the doors of trauma one. 

      "What've we got?" she called out to the other doctors in the room.

      "Penetrating chest trauma," Susan told her.  "He's going to need an aortic dissection right away.  He's all yours," Susan said, stepping off to the side to let Elizabeth do her job.

      "Thanks," Elizabeth said sarcastically.  

      "Dr. Romano,...Dr. Romano, I need you to wake up," called Shirley, as she entered Robert's hospital room.  

      He opened one eye and glared at her.  Then he opened the other.

      "Dr. Gunn is here to check on your arm."  Robert could see Gunn hovering outside the door, waiting for a cue from Shirley that it was indeed safe to enter.

      Robert looked grumpy, which was no surprise to Shirley.  Who wouldn't be grumpy after having their arm amputated and then being woken up by annoying hospital staff?

      "Now?" he questioned, sounding incredibly whiny and not entirely awake yet.

      "Yes now.  It's been four hours since the surgery. You know you're supposed to be checked at least every five hours during the first twenty four hours after surgery.  

      "Fine," he said flatly.  

      Shirley nodded towards Gunn, and he stepped inside the room.

      "How are you Robert?" he asked cautiously.  

      "I'm wonderful.  Life couldn't be better," he told the doctor bitterly.  "How the hell do you think I am?" he asked, anger obvious in his tone.

      Dr. Gunn decided to ignore his angry comments, saying instead, "The surgery went very well.  No complications."

      The doctor sat down in a chair next to the bed and began to unwrap Robert's bandaged arm.  Robert looked away.  

      "Robert, I need to check sensation, this might hurt a little."

      He just nodded.  Gunn gently touched his gloved hand to the stump and Robert let out a hiss of pain.  "Son of a bitch," he mumbled under his breath.

      "Are you all right?" Gunn asked.

      "I'm fine, let's just get this over with," he replied anxiously.  

All he wanted was to go back to sleep.  Maybe next time he woke up this hell would all just be a horrible nightmare and his life would go back to normal.  The words "fat chance" flashed through his mind.       

Dr. Gunn finished checking Robert's arm, wrapped it back up and wished Robert a speedy recovery as he quickly exited the room.

12:26 AM

      Elizabeth slammed the last chart into the rack at the OR desk and slumped into her office, collapsing into her desk chair.  She breathed out a heavy sigh, which turned into a long, painful cough that made her feel dizzy.

      She wanted nothing more than to go home, take a nice long shower, curl up in bed and sleep for 24 hours straight.  The going home, showering and sleeping was actually possible, although not for 24 hours.  But she knew there was something she needed to do before she left.

      The day had been so busy that she hadn't had a chance to see Robert after the surgery.  She had stayed with him briefly in recovery, but was called away for another trauma before he was moved into his actual room.

      Even though she knew fully well that he would be sleeping at this time of night, she felt as though she needed to see him anyway.  She wouldn't sleep unless she knew how he was doing.

      Stepping into the elevator, she pressed the button for the 3rd floor and made her way up.  The halls were dimly lit and she could barely make out the room numbers.  Finally she came upon Robert's.  

      She listened outside for a second to see if she could hear any movement, or perhaps the sound of the television, but her ears were met only by silence.  

      Slowly she pushed the door open and stepped inside the dark room.  She waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness before moving to sit in the large upholstered chair next to the bed.  

      Robert lay in his bed, sound asleep, his head turned to the other side, and his mouth hanging slightly open.  Elizabeth had to force herself not to laugh.

      Now that she was sitting there, she wasn't exactly sure why she had come.  It's not like he was awake or would even know she had come to visit.  But she stayed just the same.  It didn't matter if he knew she was there or not, it just felt good to be there for him.

      She scooted the chair a little closer and leaned over, her head resting on the bed.  A few minutes turned into 30, and before she knew it, she had actually fallen asleep.

      A twinge of pain in his upper arm awoke Robert from his slumber.  Finally, after avoiding it all day, he turned his head to look at what was left of his arm, and was surprised to find Elizabeth asleep at his bedside.

      Even in the darkness of the room, he could tell her face was more pale than usual.  He reached out with his good arm, and touched her forehead which was burning up.  She stirred slightly, but didn't wake up.

      Robert reached for the call button right away.  Elizabeth needed to get home to bed, and he was in desperate need of some more pain medication.

      Luckily Shirley was still on, though her shift was just about to end, and she was the one to respond to Robert's call.

      She cautiously entered the room and whispered, "Dr. Romano? Are you ok?"

      She stepped closer to the bed, when she realized that someone else was in the room as well.  It was Dr. Corday.

      "It's Elizabeth.  She's got a fever."

      "Did she mention anything about being sick?" Shirley asked.

      "She said something about having a cold, but I don't think she was being totally honest with me.  She doesn't look well at all."

      "I'll go get her a blanket.  We'll just let her sleep here for the night and see how she is in the morning.  If she isn't feeling any better, I'll make sure she goes down to the ER.  Is there anything I can get for you?"

      "I could use some more pain meds," he said, with a slight grimace of pain on his face.

      "Sure thing, doc.  I'll be right back."

      Robert pushed a strand of Elizabeth's hair out of her face, and gently leaned down and kissed the top of her head before settling back onto his pillows and drifting back to sleep.

      When Shirley returned with the medicine and blanket, the two of them were both sound asleep.  She injected Robert's pain meds into his IV, carefully spread a blanket over Elizabeth's shoulders, and quietly slipped out the door, hoping they would both get some much needed rest.

Hope you enjoyed it!!

Let me know what you thought. 

I love reviews!!!

Danielle


	4. I'll Be Okay

Chapter 4! It's here! A big thanks to everyone who has been reviewing!! You guys are awesome! Anyway... on with the story...  
  
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Elizabeth was vaguely aware of the sound of two voices as she awakened the next morning. At first she couldn't remember where she was, or how she had gotten there, but slowly memories of last night flooded back to her. She had come to Robert's room after her shift had ended and must have fallen asleep in his room late last night.  
  
The voices brought her back to reality. The first voice was male, and she recognized it immediately as Robert's, but it took her a few minutes to figure out that the second voice, female, belonged to Abby.  
  
Neither of them knew that Elizabeth was awake yet, if you could call it awake. She wasn't completely awake yet. She was somewhere in between sleep and consciousness, where she was aware of what was going on around her, but was not active in it.  
  
"So what's Elizabeth doing here so early, or should I say so late?" Abby asked Romano.  
  
Elizabeth's ears perked up at the mention of her name.  
  
Robert ignored her blatant suggestion and answered, "She must've come in last night when I was asleep. I woke up during the night and found her sleeping here. She's not well, she had a fever in the night."  
  
"Is she okay?"  
  
"Well Shirley and I decided to just let her get some rest and see how she felt in the morning. So I guess we'll see when she wakes up."  
  
Elizabeth chose this moment to make her grand entrance. She opened her eyes and leaned back, her hands reaching out to massage her sore back as she let out a little moan.  
  
"What time is it?" she asked hoarsely, her eyes barely open.  
  
"It's nearly 7:30," Abby replied after glancing at her watch.  
  
"Oh, thank God I'm not working today."  
  
"How are you feeling?" Robert asked her.  
  
She shrugged her shoulders. "A little better than yesterday, actually."  
  
"Good. I was worried about you last night. You were running quite a fever."  
  
"Well I've got to get to work. I unfortunately am working today," Abby said, addressing both doctors.  
  
"Which are you today, nurse or doctor?" Robert asked.  
  
"For the morning shift you can call me Dr. Lockhart. For the night shift, it's back to nurse Abby."  
  
"A double shift?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
"Yup, I still have to pay the bills."  
  
"Good luck," replied Elizabeth.  
  
"Have a good day you two. Dr. Romano, you take it easy, ok? Doctors orders."  
  
Robert grinned as Abby headed out the door.  
  
Elizabeth stood up and stretched her sore muscles again. "So how are you feeling this morning, Robert?"  
  
"I'm fine," he said, though not very convincingly.  
  
Elizabeth gave him one of her looks. "I know you think you have to pretend you're fine around other people, but you don't have to pretend with me Robert. I wouldn't expect you to be fine the day after surgery. You don't always have to be strong."  
  
"I know." He let out a deep sigh.  
  
"I'm...I'm just...I'm not good at this...," he trailed off.  
  
"At what?"  
  
"At being weak, and helpless. I can't do it."  
  
"Well I don't think you have much of a choice, Robert. Everyone is weak sometimes. You saw me last night, exhausted, collapsed at your bedside, feverish and ill. That's just a part of life, letting people see you at your weakest, lowest point and letting them help you."  
  
"All right, can we just drop this for now. I'm not in the mood for a serious conversation," he grumbled.  
  
"Fine," Elizabeth said, giving up for the time being. She didn't have the energy to fight with him. "I'm going home. I need to take a shower and change my clothes, but I'll be back to see you later, all right?"  
  
"Fair enough."  
  
"Get some rest," she said softly before closing the door behind her.  
  
Robert pulled his blanket up to his chin and closed his eyes. He actually was pretty exhausted. He'd woken up early. Really early. Around 4 AM.  
  
When Abby had knocked lightly on his door at about 7:15, he was wide awake, so now he was feeling the effects of the little amount of rest he had received. Quickly he dozed off into a peaceful sleep.  
  
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He woke up to a strange and uncomfortable feeling of queasiness in the pit of his stomach. He groaned and rolled over onto his side, hoping the sick feeling would go away, but luck was not on his side today.  
  
He sat up and took a few deep breaths which did little to help his stomach either. Just as he was trying to get out of his bed and head into the bathroom, an unfamiliar nurse came into the room.  
  
"Where are you going, Dr. Romano?"  
  
"To the damn bathroom, as if it's any of your business," he remarked nastily as he slowly hobbled towards the bathroom.  
  
He slammed the door behind him and once he was inside the small room he sat down on the floor and leaned his back against the wall, sitting relatively close to the toilet in case he did in fact have to throw up.  
  
His stomach rolled and he kneeled in front of the toilet, ready for the inevitable. Not that there was much in his stomach to throw up. All he had eaten the day before was jello late in the evening after he had been cleared by the doctor to eat solid foods again. Since he didn't think his stomach was up to a full meal yet, he had only requested jello.  
  
The nausea hit him full force this time, and he began to be sick. It didn't take long for him to empty his stomach, and soon he found himself dry heaving, having nothing left on his stomach.  
  
Finally, his stomach settled down and he fell back against the wall, taking in a few ragged, shallow breaths. He wasn't sure how long he sat there on the cold tile floor of the bathroom, but it seemed like forever. He just didn't have the strength to get up.  
  
He was surprised the nurse wasn't knocking down the door. He figured he must have scared her away when he heard a light knock on the door.  
  
"Leave me alone," he called out weakly to the intruder.  
  
"Robert, it's Elizabeth. Are you ok?"  
  
"I thought it was the nurse. You can come in," he said, knowing she eventually would anyway.  
  
She pushed the door open slowly, and a look of horror crossed her face as she saw Robert huddled in the corner of the bathroom, pale and shaking.  
  
She went to him, and kneeled down in front of him, putting a hand to his cheek and lifting his chin to meet his eyes. "Did you get sick?" she asked.  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Why didn't you call the nurse in to help you?"  
  
"I think I scared her off. I kind of yelled at her."  
  
"Do you think you can get up? We should probably get you back in bed."  
  
He nodded weakly and she wasn't quite sure if she really believed him, but they would try nevertheless.  
  
With one hand on his arm, and one around his hip, she pulled him to his feet and they slowly shuffled back to his bed, where he collapsed into his pillows.  
  
"I'm going to go find the nurse and see if we can get your pain medicine adjusted. That's probably what made you sick, especially if you haven't had anything to eat. When was the last time you ate?"  
  
"Last night. I had jello."  
  
"That's it? Well I'll try and find something that will be easy on your stomach, some crackers or something."  
  
"Thank you," he whispered to Elizabeth as she went off in search of the nurse.  
  
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I hope you all are liking the story.  
  
If you are, then tell me.  
  
If you aren't, still tell me.  
  
I love feedback!!!  
  
Thanks!  
  
Danielle 


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